Everyone wants self-development… even those who “have become so full in their knowledge that they have seen the eternal infinity”.

Many people want a personal development so much that they break off their very close relationships because they distract form the development.

Marketing is in a hurry to demand self-development for different tastes and budgets. You can develop yourself at 2-hour self-development trainings course, you can go to an ashram, to a monastery, you can go to an adult camp, you can dawnsift in Bali (Goa is now irrelevant). Everyone, as one, returns from self-development courses enlightened, with insights, high spirits and an even greater desire for self-development. And in a joyful impulse, demolishing all those who did not develop themselves in their lives: spouses, friends, work. Someone in innermost bliss is striving for a better version of him/herself so that they leave society for retreats for a long time. 

So, what is a self-development? What meters or kilograms to measure success in self-development? What is the purpose of it? The answers are usually vague. Psychology is an applied science. It cannot be attached to the fog. A specificity is needed for the result in psychological work and self-development in particular.

Please remember that us, humans, are social beings. We need society, we need people, the same humans-hedgehogs who cling to each other, prick each other, cry, bounce, and then again look for each other to keep warm.

A self-development is the process of learning to live happily with neighbors on the planet and just close people. A self-development is in improving our psychological skills and abilities for coexistence in a society. Or in acquiring them, if any of psychological skills were not given in the basic settings from childhood. Harmony and simple human happiness are hidden in the ability to own and apply these psychological skills.

The basic set of psychological skills does NOT depend on life tasks, it is eternal-infinite and will be useful to everyone any time:

  • The ability to forgive yourself. The ability to forgive others. The ability to ask for forgiveness
  • The ability to ask for a help, a service, a support
  • The ability to refuse to help, the ability to say “no”
  • The ability to express condolences, to provide support
  • Gratitude
  • The ability to accept compliments. The ability to give compliments, praise others and yourself
  • The ability to hear others’ needs and give what they need
  • The ability to show your emotions and desires to others
  • The ability to notice, understand and respect the emotions of others
  • The ability to take a responsibility

I have identified 10 basic psychological skills that everyone needs from a child to an old man, from a self-employed seller to the owner of an holding. It is never too early and never too late to acquire psychological skills. The ability to apply basic psychological skills, to develop and to improve them is self-development as a person.